My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I forget how to act sober
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
