we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
