Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
