ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
