Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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