dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
