If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
