How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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