thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
