I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize