So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
