Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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