Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Barsexuality is the new black.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
