Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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