Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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