Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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