The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
