Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
