I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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