her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
