im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
