I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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