she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
