What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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