She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
