did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have aggressive nipples.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
