Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
