My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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