I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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