if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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