Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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