I puked a lego.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
