well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
