You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize