Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
