Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
