Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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