You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Your cock deserves a montage
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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