but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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