the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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