I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
