Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
