Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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