The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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