Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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