Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
