I just cut my nipple shaving
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
