i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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