Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
