last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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