i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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