I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
