Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
