does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There's always time for handjobs
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
