I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
