I bet he comes in French.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
