good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
