There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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