alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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