are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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