Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
