No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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