i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
