People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize