no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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