Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
