Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't turn off my feet"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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