okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
