I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
