it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
PANTIES FOUND
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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