Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize