No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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