What a fucking waste of an outfit
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
