Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Floor bacon is actually really good
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
