yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
