yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
