Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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